Through Deep Waters by ~robin moroney

On Ash Wednesday, I was thinking about Lent and what it means to “give something up” for Lent.  I was wondering how giving something up would glorify God and bring me closer to Him.  I mean, if I gave up something I love, like Dr. Pepper, would that really bring me closer to God?  Would I really think of God more every time I wanted a Dr. Pepper during those 40 days?  I don’t think so.  In fact, not having a Dr. Pepper for 40 days would just make me grumpy which certainly would not glorify God. 

So I wondered what I could do during the 40 days of Lent to strengthen my relationship with God and to bring me closer to Him.  And I decided that I want to read the Book of Psalms every day during Lent.  Starting on Ash Wednesday I'll read three Psalms a day and by Easter day, I will have read every Psalm. I am committed that during this time I will be still and listen for God’s voice.  And I pray that He will enable me to understand His will for me.

As I am reading the Psalms, I am struck by David’s amazing ability to praise God and thank Him even in the most difficult times.  In Psalm 6, David says to God:

“Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.  My soul is in anguish.  How long, O Lord, how long? . . . . I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.  My eyes grow weak with sorrow . . . for the Lord has heard my weeping.  The Lord has heard my cry for mercy, the Lord accepts my prayers.” Psalm 6:2-9

David is in agony and he is worn out!  And yet he knows that God hears him and that God is with him.  This verse reminds me of my anguish during Hell Year 2004. I too have cried out in agony and I have flooded my bed with tears.  I have even said, "How long God?  How long?"

Even though David was in agony, he always seemed to find it within himself to not only cry out to God but to praise Him and thank Him.  Oh, that it would be so for me too.

In Psalm 18, David says:

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters."  Psalm 18:16

As I am nearing the 10 year anniversary of my mother’s passing, the end of my marriage and my season in the slimy pit (this all happened in Hell Year 2004), this verse reminds me of how far God has brought me.  God most definitely reached down and lifted me out of the deepest waters I’ve ever been in.  Time and time again His great hands have plucked me out of waters that threatened to overtake me.

In 2004, I truly did not think I would ever laugh again, love again or be happy again.  God has shown me repeatedly how much He loves me and how much He wants to bless me.

During these past 10 years, I have laughed, I have cried oceans of tears, I have loved (then cried some more).  I have been lonely and I have been surrounded by people I love and who have filled my heart to overflowing.  I have been angry and I have been frustrated.  I have had seasons when I was ravenous for God and His word.  And, sadly, I have had seasons when I didn’t spend much time with Him at all.  I have cried out to God in heart rending anguish and I have pleaded with Him to heal my broken heart.  I have laughed with God, I have cried with Him, I have yelled at Him, screamed at Him and pouted when I didn’t get my way. 

And I have praised Him and thanked Him for blessing me beyond my wildest dreams.  I have felt His loving arms around me when the warm sunshine hits my face and I have stood in awe of His power when thunderstorms have raged around me. 

Sadly, I have run away from Him.  And I have crawled into His loving arms when I have been too exhausted and worn out to even take another breath.

I have been through a lot these past 10 years.  I have been in agony and cried oceans of tears.  I have also felt such great love and excitement that my heart has filled with immense joy.  And I know that through it all, God has been right there with me every single moment.  And I know that He will always be with me and that He will always love me.  No matter what. 

And like David,

“But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.”  Psalm 13:5-6 

Heavenly Father, how I thank you for your constant presence in my life.  Thank You for staying beside me through the deepest oceans, the darkest storms and the brightest moments.  I am so grateful that You do not grow weary and that You never give up on us.  Thank You for giving us strength when we cannot take another step and for giving us courage to persevere when we just want to give up.  Thank You for the challenges in our lives that help us to grow closer to You and that teach us things about ourselves that we did not know.  And thank You for this glorious spring day that reminds us that You are always present and that You love us more than we could ever know.  ~robin